Kids are very unpredictable and want to get things instantly. And when they don’t, they start throwing tantrums that will affect everything else. It is a situation that can lead to a lot of screaming, yelling, and sometimes hitting.
Raising children takes a lot of work and patience. But most of the time, parents lose their temper due to stress, tiredness, and lack of sleep. Not to mention, household chores, financial problems, and other factors that make them react inappropriately.
According to studies, yelling at your kids is a bad habit that can worsen the problem. A child that is constantly getting the same treatment begins to get used to it over time. Yelling does not resolve any problem and will not help your children to behave.
There are lots of ways on how to discipline a child without hitting and yelling, and here are some of them:
10 Ways to Discipline Your Child Without Spanking
1. Set Rules and Limitations
As they say, communication is the key. To have a good parent-child relationship, you need to explain the proper and improper behaviors. Children need to understand that everything they will do must have limitations.
Try to involve your children when you are making house rules. There is a higher chance that they will follow the rules when they helped to create them initially. You can put house rules signs around the house to remind them that every broken rule has an equivalent consequence.
2. Be Consistent with Consequences
Do not give in to your child’s crying or apologies. If you let things slide, they will do it over and over again without hesitation. Overlooking the situation will not help them to behave correctly.
Commit to the rules and give consequences whenever your child breaks a rule. No matter how sorry you feel, show them that you are serious about the house rules and limitations. Giving consistent consequences will help them to get used to the rules and avoid possible problems.
3. Give Warnings and Timeouts
When your child is starting to do things outside the rules, it’s time to give warnings. Remind them of the consequences if they continue pushing a boundary. You don’t need to shout or scream just to make your kids stop, let them realize their behavior and act later.
However, some kids keep provoking their parents to catch their attention. Count to three to stop them whatever they are doing, and if not then give a timeout. This is a common method that parents do to show authority to their children.
4. Let Things Happen
When your kids are trying to break their toys or mess around the house, let them. So when they lose a toy it is a natural consequence they need to accept. Also, do not beg for them to eat, because eventually, they will get hungry and ask for it anyways.
Sometimes, ignoring your child with their tantrums helps them to realize things. When you keep telling them what to do, they usually do the opposite. So instead, let them break the rules and face the consequence.
5. Show Other Options
To make your child obey the house rules or chores you asked them to do, show them other options aside from the consequences. Entice them with their favorite food or let them play video games, only if they finish the task. Showing a variety of options to their actions also practice their decision-making skills.
In reverse, when the kids have done inappropriate things, you can take their favorite things or forbid them from doing something they like. Knowing that they will constantly lose something if they continue disobeying the rules will help them behave well. It is an effective way to teach them to follow certain rules without yelling.
6. Focus on the Positive
Once in a while, it’s okay to ignore minor offenses that your child is doing. No one is perfect and they will do wrong things unintentionally. But instead of making a big deal out of it, you can just let it pass and focus on the positive things they have done.
Nevertheless, if your child’s misconduct is not acceptable and can no longer be ignored, make sure to stay calm. Getting overly emotional about it will not make it right. Talk to them about it, and if needed, give them fair consequences.
7. Encourage to Explain Themselves
If you notice that your child is continuously misbehaving, ask them to explain their side. Encourage them to share their feelings about their actions and consequences. Sometimes, all they need is someone who can understand them completely.
Also, take this chance to express yourself about your reactions about their disobedience. Let them feel that beyond the rules and consequences are your good intentions. This practice will help both of you to be open and solve the problems without yelling, hitting, or doing consequences.
8. Find a Timeout Place
To make an effective timeout for your kids, choose a spot away from distractions. Avoid sending them to their rooms because it’s their comfort zone and it will allow them to play. You can go with them to talk about what happens and the reason behind it.
Timeouts don’t take hours, it can be as short as a couple of minutes, enough for them to calm down. You can also give timeout when you are in public and your kid has meltdowns. But just be careful not to embarrass them in front of other people as it could worsen their actions.
9. Maintain a Calm Voice
As much as possible, try to compose yourself. Being angry will not help you to say the right words to your children. Set an example by calming yourself and taking things lightly.
Your words will make a big impact on your child and they will understand you speak gently. Don’t raise your voice quickly when correcting their mistakes. Give yourself a timeout too when you feel you can’t handle the situation to avoid yelling and hitting.
10. Praise their Good Behavior
It is important to acknowledge your kid’s good behavior. Praise them when they behave well and obey the rules. This serves as an encouragement to continue doing positive things.
Give them hugs and kisses or rewards, like cooking their favorite food, taking them to the mall, or buy things they want. Those kind words and actions will motivate them to be better next time. The attention and treatment that you showed them can also inspire them to act appropriately.
Tips for Parents to Remain Calm
Parents need timeouts as much as your kids. Yelling, Screaming, and Hitting are the results of their frustrations, exhaustion, and confusion. Taking a break saves yourself and your children from any unwanted reactions. And if you are having difficulty containing your temper, here are some few tips to help you get through:
- When you feel that your anger is rising, take a quick break from the situation. Leave the room or take a few steps away from your child. Make sure that your child is in a safe place or with someone before going outside.
- Compose yourself by removing negative thoughts in your head. And instead, picture yourself in your happy place, doing things you love. This will give you some time to recharge and think about the right thing to do.
- Switch your attention to something else like as simple as counting to ten. It will quickly distract you from the current situation and helps you cool down. When you feel at ease, you can continue dealing with your child.
- If you just can’t take it and catch yourself yelling, stop for a moment. Then, calmly apologize to your children for raising your voice and explain why you acted that way. You can also continue talking about what they did and the consequences of breaking the rules.
- The most important thing is to check yourself. Taking care of yourself does not only benefit you but your kids as well. Make sure to eat healthily, get enough sleep, and pamper yourself to avoid getting angry easily.
Having children is an amazing blessing. They bring so much happiness, laughter, and love to the family. Parents take their kids as their inspiration and motivation to work hard and give the best life for them.
Well, it is not all about fun and excitement, because at some point, your child will break rules. It will get tiring, stressful, and overwhelming but there are many ways on how to discipline a child without hitting and yelling. All you need to do is to bring a lot of patience. Good luck!
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