How to Connect with Your Spouse: 12 Effective Ways

Have you ever found yourself not be able to talk to your husband/wife as intimately as before? Is your sex life becoming close to nonexistent after many years of being together?

If you’re having difficulty connecting with your life partner and a more romantic and more profound level, there are specific steps that you can take to reignite the passion in the relationship especially if you have been together for many years already.

This article will give you some tips regarding how to reestablish the connection with your spouse while ensuring that it doesn’t grow distant ever again. Would you like to learn more about it? If your answer is yes, then don’t hesitate to continue reading right away. I am sure that you will learn a lot afterward.

12 Effective Ways to Connect with Your Spouse

1. Figure Out the Reason Why

The first thing that you need to do if you feel disconnected with your husband or wife is to figure out the reason why. You have to understand why she feels distant or if you’re the one growing distant towards her or him, you ought to ask yourself why you feel this way.

Once you can find the answers, then you can strive to reestablish your connection with your partner. Make sure that you can get your facts straight before making your move. If you talk to your spouse while being misinformed, you may end up making matters worse than they already are.

For example, if your wife or husband is still giving you the cold shoulder and you think that it could be because of something that you did, try to confirm it first before confronting your partner about it. What if he doesn’t want to talk to you about it? Refer to the second tip to find out what to do.

2. Seek Outside Help

How can you find the answers if he or she doesn’t want to talk to you? You can try asking for outside help. Sometimes, it is easier to talk to strangers than to someone that you have a connection with or used to for that matter.

Talk to someone that you trust whether it be a family friend, a relative or a professional. These third parties may be able to provide you with critical insight to understand your partner’s point of view without having to talk to him or her.

Don’t force your partner to talk to you. Give it some time. You won’t get anything out of your spouse if you try to force him or her to do something that they refuse to do. By giving them some time to think about the situation, they will be able to realize the importance of talking to you about your problems.

The important thing is that you can reestablish communication with your husband or wife. This is the only way for you to figure out what the problem is and how to resolve it immediately.

3. Observe

You can also observe your husband or wife. If you can’t figure out why he doesn’t want to talk to you or spend time with you, perhaps he wants you to figure it out on your own. To do this, you can start by observing his or her patterns of behavior.

Take note of any changes in his or her routine and find out the reason why. Perhaps this is the root cause of the lack of connection between the two of you.

4. Try to Remember What You Know About Your Partner

Why do you think would he or she stop talking to you altogether? With many years of married life and togetherness under your belt, the two of you definitely would have had a lot of experiences together.

These experiences will allow you to get to know your partner quite well. You would be able to understand what makes him or her tick. What would make her upset? All this requires is a little bit of introspection. Once you find the answer, it will be easy for you to reconnect with your partner sooner rather than later.

The point here is to make your partner remember why he or she fell in love with you in the first place. Once you can do this, it will be easy enough to rebuild a bridge that would close the gap between the two of you.

5. Let Your Actions Speak for You

Aside from talking to professionals or family members and observing your partner, you have to make an effort to be present. It’s not enough for you to say the words; some people appreciate actions even more.

If you think your partner will appreciate kind acts, then this is what you should do. Show him that you care by offering your help whenever you can. These acts of kindness will certainly break the ice and allow you some room to reestablish communication with your spouse effectively.

6. Get to Know Him or Her Again

Another thing that you can do to connect with your spouse is to find out her likes and dislikes right now. Through the years, people change and along with this come evolving preferences. Get to know your partner again by spending some alone time with him or her.

This way, you will be able to learn anything new about your partner without difficulty. He or she will also appreciate the fact that you are trying to get to know him or her again for sure.

7. Speak About How You Feel

It is also important that you voice out how you feel about the situation to your partner. Sometimes, people need to know that you are willing to talk to them about the gap before they decide to take the first step.

8. Make Him or Her Feel Safe and Comfortable

Make him, or her feel safe to talk to you about anything and everything that he wants to talk about. By opening yourself up to communication, you will undoubtedly make it easier for your partner to do the same. You can do this by not forcing the issue. Let him or her open up to you. If he doesn’t want to open up to you just yet, give it some time. Your spouse will come around eventually.

9. Be Thoughtful

Be as thoughtful as possible. If you can, try to remember all the special occasions that you have celebrated together over the years. Sometimes, people tend to keep their distance, and they feel neglected and forgotten.

If you can show your spouse that this is not the case with you, he or she will surely be more open to communicating with you about his or her current state of mind and feelings.

10. Reserve Some Family Time

Another way for you to connect with your spouse is by spending time with the family. A little bit of family bonding will go a long way when it comes to fostering communication and togetherness not only with your spouse but also with the children.

If you can do this at least once a month, then it will allow you to talk to your spouse about anything and everything that you want to talk about. You will also end up enjoying the family time even more.

11. Be of Service to Your Life Partner

As our elders say, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” As a wife, if you want to communicate with your husband, it would be best to do it during meal time. Make an effort to cook his favorite dish, and you will surely connect with your spouse without difficulty.

This holds for men as well. If you want your wife to talk to you, show her that you care by being of service to her. You can cook for her. Additionally, try to take care of the house and the kids. Be the husband or wife of their dreams. If you do this, your spouse will not hesitate to talk to you for sure.

12. Be Interested in Your Partner’s Hobbies and Likes

In addition to this, you should not hesitate to take an interest in your partner’s life. As a married couple, while you have to have common ground, you are bound to have individual differences as well.

Learn to respect and appreciate those differences and try to learn some of the things that your partner knows. If he or she sees that you are interested in what he does, then it would not be too hard for you to communicate as it would be an educational opportunity for you both.

For example, if she loves to cook, but you don’t know how to, why don’t you ask your spouse to teach you how? This will allow you to spend time with her or him to reconnect properly. You never know, you might even discover the love of cooking yourself.


With these 12 tips, you will surely be able to communicate with your wife or husband without difficulty. What is important is that you can show your partner, how much of an effort you are trying to make.

Once you can do this, your spouse will see it eventually for sure, and he will learn to appreciate you even more.

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